*****Losing Patrick like this has been difficult. I'm so used to having him to talk to that not having him there is a huge hole in my day.I'd be flat-out lying if I didn't acknowledge that the funk I've been in for the past month isn't, in large part, due to this relationship ending. I know I've been mourning the loss of him; I feel the loss to my core.He knew me. He knew my thoughts, my quirks, my body... sometimes better than I did. He has been my best friend, he's made my days bearable, filled in what my husband is unwilling to give me. Going even two days without talking to him was rare. Cutting him off is the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time. I miss him a lot. Really, really a lot. I fight the idea of making contact every single day.And the kicker is that I can't say for sure that I would refuse him if he came back yet again. If his marriage ended and he was free to start a relationship, I might say yes. I might rearrange my entire life for him.Clearly, I need my head. Then she stuffs the panties in my mouth. My own taste makes my head swim. Then she really gets to work on me--licking, sucking, biting, fisting, fucking me with her toes, fucking me with household objects, using a plug-in vibrator so I can't just hope that she'll have to stop when the battereis wear down. With the gag muffling everything, I'm totally free to cry out and shout and scream as loud as I have to.Then when I'm soaked in sweat and exhausted and trembling and slippery between my thighs from all my squirting, she stretches out on top of me and rubs us together. That's the main way she likes to use me to cum. She holds me like a man in missionary position and she takes the gag out with her teeth and pushes her tongue into my mouth. She keeps my mouth filled with her tongue the whole time she's mounted on me like that, rubbing and sliding and rocking and grunting.I didn't know she was like that when I met her. Sometimes she says she didn't quite know it about herself.
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